AnnaMouse
Ordinary thoughts of an Unordinary girl.Archive for sorry
I am sorry
I’m not sorry for being boring
I am not sorry I am quiet
I am not sorry I have nothing interesting to say
I am not sorry for being okay with silence
I am not sorry you don’t feel like talking either
I am not sorry I am okay with this
I often find myself making up apologies to people after we’ve hung out, about how quiet I was, or if I seemed uninterested (usually never the case, or I would have made an excuse to leave, awkwardly). I count on someone new I am hanging out with to mention that I am quiet. You’re so quiet. Bleh. Shut up. I don’t really feel like that when they say that, only now that I am thinking about it. What is so wrong with introversion and silence? It’s nice. And I expect this from those crazy extroverts that think silence is an insult, but for a fellow introvert to make such a comment is a bit harsh. So are you buddy! I am okay with silence usually. It can be slightly strange in a public place with so much commotion going on around you, that it feels like the conversation has to stay in step with the environment… screw that!
I find it hard to start conversations, especially when all the normal daily occurrences have been discussed. This boring chit-chat is all I am good at – if good is even an appropriate term. What am I thinking? Most always usually…nothing. Or nothing of interest that could be any type of conversation starter. I express when I feel similarly about something, but this tends to end the conversation before it even starts. For a long time I would not even say, “Oh me too!” for the fact that I thought it would be redundant and make me seem boring. When in fact I’m sure not saying a thing at all is what made me truly boring. Now when I do make this exclamation or include my similar insight, I feel … redundant and boring. Like I am trying to turn the conversation around and make me the center of attention, which of course is that last thing I want … lets not talk about me.
AnnaMouse 